Many people never figure out how to walk the fine line of being in charge and also being a friend. However if you babysit older children, this is necessary to do.

Your may spend a lot of time with the child, especially if you nanny for an older child. Without the child forgetting that you are in charge, find a way to make the child like you and feel comfortable around you. You are not the same as them. They are likely to no longer take orders from you, and respect your authority once you overstep that boundary into friendship because you become their peer. To keep on top of the line, here are some things to do and not to do.

What not to do:

Gossiping is something to stay away from at all times. Avoid any bad gossip. Siblings and family members should never be “bashed”, along with anyone else. Gossip is surely something a babysitter shouldn’t do, however don’t get this confused with friendly conversation. Talk about the children next door who got a dog, or about how cute their aunt’s baby is. However don’t say something negative about anybody. If children start to do this, you can just carefully tell them that they shouldn’t say these things about people, or disregard it. Choose the one you think is best, and go with it. But don’t be a part of it. This drags you downward to peer level.

Teasing is also something that results with you being at this level. Even if is friendly teasing, doing so is never a good idea. In a child’s eye, teasing is something a peer does to fit it, so you never know when it might hurt a child. Don’t appear like someone who wants to “fit in”; never be mistaken for a person like this. Safe and happy is how you want to keep the child while they are in your care.

If the children become more responsible than you, there might be a serious problem. If you give an idea for something to do, but the child says this is against the rules, for any reason, don’t force the issue. There should be plenty of alternatives for what you could do instead. Don’t tell them that it’s alright, you will keep a secret from their parents. Stepping into the peer side once again, you really need to be careful here.

Be serious. If you must tell the children to do a task (or don’t do it), say it seriously. Do not beg by saying “You Need to do this,” instead of “Why don’t you do this,” or “Come on, do this”, as all of these phrases seem like you are begging. It is important to remember that begging is not acceptable. If it is important, be firm, but for little things, these forms are okay. Follow up and use a firm voice. Tell them, again and again, if they don’t do it. There will be consequences if they don’t do what you say – they need to realize this. You are the boss, and this action will let them know that. Being pushed around is something that you should never experience in this situation.

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